An Aune in one

9 11 Gemis

2009-09-11T12:30:00.000-07:00

I remeber
Watching TV with my dad.
Mom was in the kitchen making coffee
The movie Dad and I were watching changed to a news bulliten
We thought it was part of the movie
So we sat there that night watching
Watching the smoke
And then the second plane going into the towers
I vividly remember the bird infront of the camera the was the main view
and yelling out to Mom that something was happening
Then we sat there as a family not saying anything watching the towers burn and fall
Like part of a movie
But it was real life
Feeling compassion and saddness for our fellow beings

Igg

2009-09-01T11:14:00.000-07:00

I want your trees to die
Your land to not let anything grow
I want the cafe to be on fire
Your restaurant to fail
I want our dog to run away from you
I want you to get a disease
I want you to get even fatter
Your motorbike to be stolen
Your car to blow up
I want your brother to be in jail
I want you to hurt
And cry
And be sad
And wonder why
I want you to be lonely
And to feel what I feel
I want all of this
But I don't
All I really want
Is for you to love me
And miss me a little bit

Because I love you with my soul
And I miss you so much

Do you

2009-08-14T10:09:00.000-07:00

Sometimes i wonder if it would be good to start over

You know, just to start every thing all over again. To live life from the begining and see where it goes?

Then I wonder if anyone else feels this way

Sometimes I feel so alone. I have my girl Cat but she doesnt need my problems.
Iggy has been ignoring me. Not answering his phone, not returning my calls, not answering my emails, not replying to messages. Just tried to call him and his number said it has no service anymore

Does anyone else think that this could be it? It could be all there is

If there is an after life would I live it out with my friends and family?

Or will i just be dead

Or is there reencarnation where i come back as something else and live a new life

I dont know

Sometimes its just too hard to think and you want to sit in the dark corner and cry

So fast, So slow (part 1)

2009-08-04T21:15:00.000-07:00

I plan to write a few of these. It may take a while but I need to write it down.

In a few days it will be a month.
At 10:30am on the 9th it will be a month since it happened.
At around 11:15am it will be a month since I heard her say to me on the phone:

"My parents are dead. Both of my parents are dead"

The morning my best forever friends life fell. The person that told me that is my girl, my Cat. Both of her parents and uncle died in a car crash that morning. It has almost been a month

Maybe

2009-05-30T12:35:00.000-07:00

Wants and Needs

2009-05-25T03:44:00.000-07:00

Materialistic things I want:

~ An Amazon Kindle. The new one. But I want it to be able to work all over, not just in the States since I travel.

~ Ugg brand Ugg boots. They are the best Uggies man. So comfy and warm. I have a pink pair but left them at my other home.

~ Tiramisu cake. But before that I want to feat on Argentinian Beef. And salad.

~ A Harp. Really want to learn to play the Harp. Would be an awesome thing to say to people "I'm a musician, I play the Harp"

~ A glass of wine.

Non Materialistic Things I want:

~I want to be able to fall asleep holding my mans hand and to wake up next to him in the morning. Everyday. I want both of us to die of old age together at the same time. I want our lives to be full of happiness, nature, peace, lots of babies and above all else LOVE.I want to be in the same room as him.I want to be in the same house as him.I want to be in the same city as him.I want to be in the same State as him.I want to be in the same Country as him.I want to be in the same Continent as him.

~ I want my Mom to realise that she is beautiful. In turn I want her to allow us to take photos of her. I like photos. I like my Mom. I think she is beautiful.

~ I want all the wars to stop. They are just plain stupid.

~ I really want to open a letter from the Air Force with them offering me the position that I want.

~ I want my Dad to never die. He is the best man I know. Iggy is a very close second. I don't know what I would do without my Dad here.

~ I want my girls to be strong and follow their dreams. Not to compromise with the partners. Be secure to do things because they can do anything.

~ I want my dog. She is with her Daddy. I miss cuddling in bed with her in the mornings while Iggy is in the shower.

Needs:

~ I need to get super fit and healthy.

~ I need new layers cut into my hair and re-coloured.

~ I need to stop smoking cigarettes.

~ I need help with studying and support.

~ I need a cuddle.

~ I need to finish Pearls birthday presents

My eyes are open, Aune

P.S. I got this idea from reading Pastor Ryans blog. If I knew how to link it I would. Someone else, Emily, did this before me on her blog, again if I knew how to link I would, which influenced me to do it on mine!

Retentive

2009-05-22T04:23:00.000-07:00

The Andes Mountain Range. December 2006. Copyright Aune. Do not touch!

My friends have started telling me that I'm Anal.

Last night, my darling man said it as well.

I asked if they meant in the good way. They said no. They mean in the crazy way.

:-) I'm not crazy. But I guess I cant say to randoms that I'm anal. They might get the wrong impression.

Feeling lonely.

Studied for 5 hours last night/this morning. Got all upset. Called Iggy. Then studied a bit more.

Was gonna do something with my Best Pearl, but the love is busy with the boyfriend.

Working on her birthday presents. Might do more now since I am so utterly bored and have been talking to myself for the past like 6 hours.

Crazy!... Wait no... Anal!

My eyes are open,

Aune

Pye-Jammmas

2009-05-12T20:32:00.000-07:00

(I realise my photo has nothing to do with this post. But its a pretty photo I took years ago)

Are Pjs meant to make one look attractive?

I think not

Mine are horrendous. I have light cotton ones for summer that are like Capri's, I have warm fuzzy ones for cold winter nights, I have Light woolie ones for in between And I have short ones for when I feel like it.

I think most of them make my Arse look horrendous. Horrible. Fat. Bad.

BUT I have some girlfriends who look amazing in their Pjs. Like their Butts look great, their legs look amazing. Why is this?

If I want to impress my man, I wont wear my Pjs. Well we normally sleep naked. I will every so often wear his boxers for comfort and he thinks its nice. Pjs = No way.

Now he has seen me in Pjs. When its really cold, or when its period time, or if I'm just being a lazy bum.

Pj bottoms are like $20. Who decided this? How ridiculous.

How Random.

Iggy goes away today for a jungle adventure. Ive had my tears already. Hope he is safe and smart. I miss him even more when he is away from civilisation. No cell phones. Rarely checks his email. It all Sucks Balls.

My eyes are open,

Aune

A First

2009-05-11T09:16:00.000-07:00

I'm excited

Why?

Well I just got the first reply to a comment I made on another blog.

It actually happened about a week ago but I hadn't expected him to respond so I never checked back.

It was at Pacing The Panic Room. I don't know how to link but if I knew I sure would.

Also discovered the whole Blog roll thing. Wow.

The other night I was thinking that I should just delete this. Couldn't really get that into it.

Then it was anther night, followed by another where I had random thoughts and just wanted to write them down.

To me that's the reason why I started this.

So I think I might keep up with the blog.

At least for now.

Is it weird that I feel a bit disappointed that I don't have followers or comments?

I feel silly as I have only just started and haven't really posted anything interesting at the moment.

I'm looking into adult swimming lessons. How embarrassing. But I need to know to swim for 2 reasons.

1- I joined the Military, that starts in a couple months and I need to be a good swimmer for training.

2- I want to surf. Just for fun. But I badly want to learn. To surf one needs to know to swim.

I can swim. Just not well. Not very well at all. I like to have control. The ocean is one place where I can have no control. I don't like that feeling.

Oh well

My eyes are open,

Aune

Ice Ice Baby...

2009-04-28T08:42:00.000-07:00

Too cold to type anymore
Shall write about myself when I remember I have this next.
Maybe tomorrow.
Maybe not tomorrow.

My eyes are open,
Aune

My Love

2009-04-28T07:07:00.000-07:00

My Love. My One. My Heart. My Soul. My Everything.

My Iggy.

I would walk this long road. Yes the one in the picture. I would walk it with no shoes. No clothes. No sunblock.

I would get blisters and burns on my body for my Iggy.

My heart aches when I think of him. I can feel it in my chest. Contracting tighter and tighter.

My Iggy is not here with me. He is not dead. He is just in a different country. A country that I lived in for 3 years. Now I live there part time.

We spend alot of time apart physically when one of us are away. This time it will be about 7 months.

It hurts. We both hate it. We talk on the phone multiple times a week. I constantly email him. Iggy doesn't use the Internet much though. But he loves to read all my emails.

things have to happen though. He is finally doing his dream. I have finally found something to do which will support me financially and cater to my adventurous need.

We will see each other a few times each year when I get holidays to go fly to him. He will fly here to see me whenever he can.

Its a short term physical separation. We are still together. This shall only last for around 4 years. Then we will both be set up and get to live together full time together again and do all the romantic shit that has been put on hold.

Iggy and I are going to begin 5 years together this August. We wont get to celebrate it in the same country but we will celebrate together about a month or 2 later.

Iggy is amazing. He saved my life. Without him I would be literally dead. When I met him I felt something. I don't believe in love at first sight, because love takes time. But there was something. I wanted to know him.

I trust my man. I doubt him some times.

We have had good and Bad. We have a dog too.

He broke my heart once. Almost exactly a year ago. He hurt me more than I thought he could ever hurt me. More than was bearable. I wanted to die. It hurt. I drank alot. Got alcohol poisoning. Cried for weeks. Didn't shower for days. Didn't leave the house for a while. I'm sure I will write about it next week or something.

We are good now. We know each other. All we needed was each other and for the other people to fuck off out of our business.

I could write about my man forever. Alot of my thoughts involve him.

So yes. This post introduces my Iggy. Next I guess is me.

My eyes are open,

Aune

Hello Blogging my old friend...

2009-04-28T05:23:00.000-07:00

I'm ready. I hope.

I have my just-lit cigarette. A disgusting habit I know.

I have layers on. Its cold.

I have 3 songs on a list to play. Juanes - Camisa Negra, Little Birdy - Beautiful to me & Shwayze - Buzzin. I am diverse.

This is my first post. One post that people will read. If I quit after this, this one will always remain. Somewhere.

This feeling will never happen again. The feeling of being open to no one. I expect no one to read my blog. I am not sharing this with any friends or family. Just you.

You looking at these words. I want you to feel like everything I type is typed for you. For you to learn. To make you laugh. Or make you think. To make you feel special. You will learn things about me that others know. Things that happen in my head that are sometimes too hard to put into verbal words. You can cringe at my occasional bad grammar. You can wonder if a person like me should be out in the free world. You can force your beliefs on me, if you comment I will read them.

I have a feeling that I will write a few posts at once. Tonight I shall prob write about a zillion. Or I might just write this one.

I don't know. I want to surprise myself.

Now this first one is done. I am now going to do a little about the important characters in my little life. All of them with appointed nicknames.

This is all me. This is all Aune. Pure Auness.

Its not about my friends and family. They factor in but I must protect their identity. Also if I say some bad things about them I dont want them to instantly know that its them if they some how find this.

My 3 songs are up. Now I will cue some more. Light another Ciggi. Read the text message that my phone is going off about. Write the next instalment.

My eyes are open,

Aune